Just Breathe

Whew! Won’t I be glad when the 3AM emergency trips to a steamy bathroom cease!?! You see, my surviving twin daughter has a history of Croup, and with the recent onset of cold and flu season, she has come down with the first of what will likely be several bouts of the Croup.

My daughter wakes up in the middle of the night struggling to breathe, which forces me to scoop her up, rallied in fear, and run to the nearest bathroom to quickly fill it with steam. Thankfully, the hot, moist air opens up her airway within a matter of minutes. Other than a dose of steroids, there isn’t much else to do to fight the Croup.

Though I’m completely exhausted after two nights of repeating this routine between one and three times a night, as I myself am also fighting a nasty cold, I have also grown an appreciation for these middle-of-the-night visits with my daughter. Even though her tummy is retracting because it is so difficult to breathe, she sits so calmly in my lap as we wait for the steam to do it’s trick. She’s completely relaxed and comforted because she trusts that I will meet every one of her needs. My daughter knows that when she comes to me, she has nothing to fear.

Oh, how our Heavenly Father longs for us to come to Him in the very same manner. With no fear; no doubt that He can and will resolve our struggles; trusting wholeheartedly that He will meet each of our needs. My daughter does not know how I will make her feel better; she doesn’t ask because she doesn’t need to know; she doesn’t try to tell me how to make her feel better; she just sits and allows me to do what I know needs to be done.

In Matthew chapter 2, the disciples ask Jesus, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" Jesus responds by calling forth a child and says, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 2:1-4). Jesus says that we should all be like little children. Children are (for the most part) obedient; loving; and they trust wholeheartedly.

Our Heavenly Father longs for us to sit in His lap and let Him comfort us and care for us in our times of struggle. I remember feeling smothered by grief after my daughter passed away. It sometimes felt as though I could not breathe without her; without having all of my children here to love.

But eventually I tired of the hopelessness and I cried out to our Lord. I didn’t see how He could possibly heal my pain; I couldn’t imagine how He might resolve my struggles; but He did. I couldn’t see a way to healing, so I had to trust Him and His ways wholeheartedly.

Turning to God allowed me such freedom. It wasn’t up to me to resolve my grief, it was up to Him. I have learned so much about God’s promises to us, about His love for us, and about His great plans for us, that I have been able to make peace with my daughter’s death. It doesn’t mean that I don’t miss her; it means that I understand and accept that there is a much greater plan and purpose to life than I ever imagined. I believe in our Heavenly Father. I’ve accepted Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for my sins. Therefore, I know I will be reunited with my daughter someday for eternity. Eternity.

So when you are struggling to catch your breath; when you feel faint, as though you are about to give out; when you feel like you can’t possibly go on—run to your Heavenly Father; climb up in His lap; relax; trust in Him and just breathe.