Broken Chains

“My chains are gone, I’ve been set free…” These are lyrics from the song Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) by Chris Tomlin, and they speak straight to my heart for two reasons. First, I feel that my daughter was set free from the chains of her medical complications, which included extreme brain damage, as she left my arms to be with the Lord well over two years ago. That is why we had the song Amazing Grace played at her funeral. Though I was saddened beyond all means by my daughter’s death, I felt it was God’s grace that called her home. I was comforted by my belief that in her death she had been freed from the chains that would have bound her so tightly here on earth. But the second reason these lyrics are most meaningful to me is that I feel my chains have been broken…I feel I have been set free since seeking relief from my grief in the arms of our Lord and Savior.

After my daughter passed away, I felt I would be forever bound by the chains of grief. Though I was aware of God’s promises of good things for those who know and love Him, I saw no way for “good” to ever return to my life. I believed the burden of grieving for my lost child would prevent me from ever being truly happy. Essentially, I stopped believing in God’s promises.

But my disbelief and distrust in the Lord left me without hope. No earthly thing had been able to comfort me in my grief. Nothing had been able to convince me that my life would be good again. And eventually, I tired of the hopelessness. Even though I could not see how they might come to fruition, I made the choice to believe in the sovereignty of God’s plan for my life and in His promises. And choosing to believe in Him, putting my trust in Him, has allowed Him to work extraordinary measures in my life.

Choosing to trust God with my situation unlocked the chains. Though it still took time for the chains of my grief to fall, freedom began the moment I chose to trust the Lord. It wasn’t up to me to reconcile my daughter’s death. It was up to the Lord. And turning to God brought peace to my soul. Philippians 4:7 states, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It is that peace which inspired me to write my book, A Place of Peace.

Once I chose to trust God, I began to study Him more. I wanted to know more about how He might work in my life and all that He promises to do. Learning about Him, and all that He has done, and all that He is going to do, has allowed me great appreciation for Him. And that appreciation has lead to adoration.

Because I have learned to focus on Him and Him alone, the chains of my earthly way of living and of my grief are gone. I have learned how to love the Lord with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my mind, which is described by Jesus in Matthew 28:37 as the greatest commandment.

I recently wrote in another blog (visit http://www.fetalhope.org/) about the freedom that comes from accepting God’s sovereign plan. Accepting and believing in God’s plan for me is what broke the chains and freed me into living what I feel is an extraordinary life. Mark 8:35 says, “Only those who throw their lives away for my sake, and for the sake of the good news, will ever know what it means to really live.” I feel that this is so true. Only now, only since my chains have been broken, do I feel I have been set free to live!