"Your road led through the sea, your pathway through the mighty waters - a pathway no one knew was there!" Psalm 77:19
Psalm 77:19 is a glorious reminder of God's ways. He often plans a path for us which we didn't even know was there; and that is why we are called to walk by faith.
I read Psalm 77 during my quiet time this morning and if you are unfamiliar with this Psalm, I hope you will allow me the grace to summarize...
The Psalmist is crying out to God, feeling as though he has been forgotten by the Lord. He calls out in distress; he can't sleep; he can hardly pray; he remembers good times in the Lord and questions where God is now that he really needs Him. The Psalmist spews a string of questions; questions which mirror the doubts I had about God after Alysa passed away.
I began writing a blog titled "Q&A" nearly one year ago after the release of the song "Yours" by Steven Curtis Chapman. In his song, Mr. Chapman sings that he’s “walked the valley of death…and questioned everything that he’s believed” (referring to the death of his beloved daughter in May 2008). For some reason, I never finished my thoughts. But when I read Psalm 77 this morning, I was reminded of the questions I had for God after I traveled through the valley of death, watching my own daughter pass away in my arms.
Tragedy often causes us to question our faith. Sometimes, this can be the scariest experience of all—questioning everything in which you’ve ever believed. It can be especially frightening if you can’t find the answers…or worse yet…don’t even know where to look. I pray that this topic will be the premise of another book. But for anyone questioning their faith now, let me share with you where I netted out a few years ago in my own Q&A session with God.
Q – How could God allow this to happen? Where was God when our twins became sick? When Alysa died in my arms? Was my big good God not as great and as mighty as I once thought? Had I slipped His mind? Had He made a mistake? Was He not in control?
As a woman of faith, I believe that God is always in control. But I questioned how my big, good God could have let these tragedies occur in my life. I had always believed that God wanted good things for His children, for those who believed in Him. So when tragedy stuck my life, I was instantly thrown off course. I could not comprehend how these heart wrenching events had been allowed to happen to me. I wanted to believe that God had made a mistake—but the God I knew didn’t make mistakes. I questioned if He was really in control—but the thought of God not being in control was more than I could bear.
A – The bible reads, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, and I am with you” (Isaiah 43:2, 3, & 5). Psalm 121:3 reads, “He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber.” Psalm 139:16 reads, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Hebrews 13:5 reads, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
God never promised that life would be easy. In fact, in John 16:33, the bible says just opposite, “In this world you will have trouble...” But He promises to be there, “…take heart! I have over come the world” (John 16:33). The truth is God is always there! The circumstances surrounding our twins are the events He ordained for me. But this truth wasn’t enough…selfishly, I wanted to know more...
Q – Why did God allow my daughter to die?
A – I believe I will never fully understand in this lifetime why certain things happen (see previous blog entry!). However, I have discovered and accepted that God has purpose in every event. Romans 11:36 reads, “Everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by his power and everything is for his glory.” I may not like the fact that my daughter passed away, but knowing that God has purpose in it brings me peace. Am I mad at God for having purpose in my daughter’s death? I was, but God has done so much for me, first, in my salvation through His Son (which should have been enough for me, but sadly, it wasn’t) and second in giving me hope after my daughter passed away, that I’ve learned to "love the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my mind, with all my soul and with all my strength," as Jesus describes as the greatest commandment in Mark 12:30. I love the Lord so much that I see it as a privilege for God to use me and my life and my circumstances for His glory.
Q – Was it my fault? Was God mad at me? Did I do something to bring this upon myself?
A – John 9:2 describes a time when the disciples questioned Jesus, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" Jesus replied, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.” It wasn’t my fault. Our experience played out so that the work of God Almighty might be revealed in our healing, in our coming to know Him, in our proclamation of His truths!
Q – How would I ever overcome Alysa’s death? Could I ever be happy, live greatly again?
A – I was familiar with scriptures such as 1 Corinthians 2:9, which reads, “no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him,” but I saw no way for goodness to return to my life after Alysa’s death. However, I eventually realized that if I wanted all the “good” things I’d read in the bible to apply to my life, then I had to accept everything I’d read; I had to believe in the author of what I’d read...I had to believe in God.
Rom 8:28 reads, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” It doesn’t say in some things, it says in ALL things. I couldn’t make sense of things, so I had to trust God to hold true to His promises. I had to accept Alysa’s death and trust God to pull me through. Trusting God instantly brought me freedom. It wasn’t up to me anymore to figure things out. It was up to God. Surrendering to Him, turning to Him for answers brought me peace…and allowed and encouraged me to trust Him more. God used Alysa’s death to draw me into an intimate relationship with Him.
Ephesians 3:20 claims that God “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.” And He is! But He does it “according to His power that is at work within us.” You must trust and believe Him in order for His power to work within you. Mark 8:35 reads, "Only those who throw away their lives for my sake and for the sake of the Good News will ever know what it means to really live.” It's true. Only since learning to live His way have I begun to truly live!
I don’t know what each of you may be going through. I can’t give you all the answers. But I can lead you to the truth. In Jeremiah 33:3, the Lord says, “Call to me…” It says to call Him, ask Him, question Him, scream at Him if you must…just go to Him. And then He says, “…and I will answer you” – He’ll answer you! – “and show you great and mighty things that you do not know.” Seek Him. Trust Him. Learn to love Him. Let Him lead you down the “pathway you didn’t even know was there” and "show you great and mighty things that you do not know!"
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
You Can't Fit God in a Box
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." Isaiah 55:8
When trials are brought upon us in life, so often there is a natural, burning desire to know why. Why me? Why this? Why now?
I have been guilty of this type of questioning on many occasions. After Alysa passed away, I was plagued with questions of "Why?" Most recently, a friend called with devastating news, and I found myself, in an attempt to consol my friend, trying to explain away her circumstance. "Maybe it was because..."
Isaiah 55:8 reads, "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts, and my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine" (NLT). When I seek to answer "why" questions, I end up conforming God, limiting God to my way of thinking. The audacity of me, to think that I could possibly even come close to understanding why God allows certain things to occur in His world! I praise God that He does NOT think like me!! As my children have come home from Sunday School chanting, "You can't fit God in a box!"
A wise soul once suggested to me, rather than asking "Why?" ask "What?" What does God want to do through your circumstance? God's number one desire is for us to know Him intimately. So for starters, realize that God wants to reveal something about Himself to you. The Creator of the universe wants you to know more about Him. I would never have come to know God as the great Comforter had I not experienced a situation in which only He could comfort me.
Lord, I pray that you will forgive me for trying to fit You inside a box. Sweet friend, you know who you are. I do not pretend to know why some things happen. But you and I both know this...
"In all things God works for the good of those who love him" (Romans 8:28). “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). You can "Come to Him, all you who are weary and burdened, and He will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). "Call to Him and He will answer you and show you great and mighty things that you do not know” (Jeremiah 33:3). And last but certainly not least, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" (1 Corinthians 2:9).
When trials are brought upon us in life, so often there is a natural, burning desire to know why. Why me? Why this? Why now?
I have been guilty of this type of questioning on many occasions. After Alysa passed away, I was plagued with questions of "Why?" Most recently, a friend called with devastating news, and I found myself, in an attempt to consol my friend, trying to explain away her circumstance. "Maybe it was because..."
Isaiah 55:8 reads, "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts, and my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine" (NLT). When I seek to answer "why" questions, I end up conforming God, limiting God to my way of thinking. The audacity of me, to think that I could possibly even come close to understanding why God allows certain things to occur in His world! I praise God that He does NOT think like me!! As my children have come home from Sunday School chanting, "You can't fit God in a box!"
A wise soul once suggested to me, rather than asking "Why?" ask "What?" What does God want to do through your circumstance? God's number one desire is for us to know Him intimately. So for starters, realize that God wants to reveal something about Himself to you. The Creator of the universe wants you to know more about Him. I would never have come to know God as the great Comforter had I not experienced a situation in which only He could comfort me.
Lord, I pray that you will forgive me for trying to fit You inside a box. Sweet friend, you know who you are. I do not pretend to know why some things happen. But you and I both know this...
"In all things God works for the good of those who love him" (Romans 8:28). “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). You can "Come to Him, all you who are weary and burdened, and He will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). "Call to Him and He will answer you and show you great and mighty things that you do not know” (Jeremiah 33:3). And last but certainly not least, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" (1 Corinthians 2:9).
Saturday, October 3, 2009
From East to West
"As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12
I originally started this blog with a request for forgiveness...as this is yet another post about a lesson learned from my children. However, I realize that there is no need for apologies. Instead, let me start by praising God for continuing to reveal His character to me through my beloved children...
Just yesterday, one of my young daughters and I engaged in yet another battle of the wills. It begins with what we're wearing for the day (and I try to be flexible - unless we're going to church, I don't even mind if they wear clothes that don't match; actually, I do mind but I've chosen to let it go!). Then the battle moves to the brushing of teeth; then on to shoes. Oh, the drama! I have a hard time dealing with the ridiculousness of it all. It's one thing to be upset about something critical; but to have an all-out meltdown about the length of our pants or supposed itchiness of our shirt? It's driving me batty! Not to mention that the same battle usually flares up again at bedtime!!
The morning-time battle ended and as we headed outside to play, my opponent from moments past breezed by me, hopping, skipping, and singing, and even shouted, "I love you, Mom!" I, on the other hand, wasn't quite ready to forgive and forget. So I did what anyone who'd been so violently offended would do...I pouted.
Rather than joining my kids on the swing set, I chose to sit in my chair sulking in frustration. I questioned how, and found myself almost irritated that my daughter was able to laugh, play, and love so soon after our confrontation. Any notion of the offenses that had just taken place between the two of us was as far gone to her as the east is from the west. And then the Holy Spirit painted an immaculate picture in my head: that is how God acts towards us when we repent of our sin. No matter how big or little, if we seek His forgiveness from the depths of our heart - it's gone. Erased. He goes on to treat us, to love us as though nothing ever happened.
Heavenly Father, I praise You that "You do not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities" (v10); that, "as a father has compassion on his children, so You have compassion on those who fear You" (v13). Thank you for allowing my daughter to be an example of Your unending love for me. In Your mighty name I pray, Amen.
I originally started this blog with a request for forgiveness...as this is yet another post about a lesson learned from my children. However, I realize that there is no need for apologies. Instead, let me start by praising God for continuing to reveal His character to me through my beloved children...
Just yesterday, one of my young daughters and I engaged in yet another battle of the wills. It begins with what we're wearing for the day (and I try to be flexible - unless we're going to church, I don't even mind if they wear clothes that don't match; actually, I do mind but I've chosen to let it go!). Then the battle moves to the brushing of teeth; then on to shoes. Oh, the drama! I have a hard time dealing with the ridiculousness of it all. It's one thing to be upset about something critical; but to have an all-out meltdown about the length of our pants or supposed itchiness of our shirt? It's driving me batty! Not to mention that the same battle usually flares up again at bedtime!!
The morning-time battle ended and as we headed outside to play, my opponent from moments past breezed by me, hopping, skipping, and singing, and even shouted, "I love you, Mom!" I, on the other hand, wasn't quite ready to forgive and forget. So I did what anyone who'd been so violently offended would do...I pouted.
Rather than joining my kids on the swing set, I chose to sit in my chair sulking in frustration. I questioned how, and found myself almost irritated that my daughter was able to laugh, play, and love so soon after our confrontation. Any notion of the offenses that had just taken place between the two of us was as far gone to her as the east is from the west. And then the Holy Spirit painted an immaculate picture in my head: that is how God acts towards us when we repent of our sin. No matter how big or little, if we seek His forgiveness from the depths of our heart - it's gone. Erased. He goes on to treat us, to love us as though nothing ever happened.
Heavenly Father, I praise You that "You do not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities" (v10); that, "as a father has compassion on his children, so You have compassion on those who fear You" (v13). Thank you for allowing my daughter to be an example of Your unending love for me. In Your mighty name I pray, Amen.
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